Recent Musings:
The stirring of faith, hope.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Isn't it funny how life works? I believe that everything happens for a reason, that God has a plan and a purpose for my life, and yet it's so odd how things unfold.
I don't always remember the providence I believe - I get easily discouraged, am very critical of myself and many times think I must have really screwed up somewhere along the way because I feel so lost, aimless and unsure of myself and my life.
Recently I was looking online for an evening church service in the area. I found one, many miles away, and then remembered a small, younger progressive church I visited once that had only an evening service. I recalled not liking it too much but decided to go anyway and see if it was different this time.
The church and its service weren't much different than last time - but I was - and something spoke to me in a very profound and healing sense. I suddenly had hope that this could be the faith community I was looking for, people my age who believed similar things as me and the pastor (who reminds me of my younger brother) was doing a sermon series on the book "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" by Peter Scazzero. I was hooked. Even greater yet, that stirring, that passion that's been missing and leaving such an ache in my soul, returned. It's been so refreshing.
Mostly, and what I've gotten from the experience so far, is a renewed purpose for my life; no, better yet, a reminder of the purpose of my life. I get so narrow in my thinking, so swept up in the defeat, that I forget about God's larger plan for my life, the lives of those I interact with and the lives of those who can be affected my decisions, my actions. It's a powerful, humbling thought of which to be reminded.
Other spiritual books I've been reading that have also offered Christian inspiration: "The Seven Storey Mountain" by Thomas Merton and "My Life with the Saints" by James Martin, SJ.