Recent Musings:
At last!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Finally, a bit more public place where I can express my thoughts. Granted, I'll be a bit more exposed and probably more vulnerable, but my thoughts may have more impact here than penciled in my notebook at home, hidden within my many shelves of photo albums. Perhaps this will work for me.
Thank you, Matt, for giving me this option. I do appreciate you and what you did for me.
I guess my largest thought today is surrender, the surrender of what I think needs to be in my life. So much of what I had hoped for and thought I had has died away, and I am left with a feeling of not hopelessness, but concession. If I can't change it, if I have no control over it, I guess it's best just to let it be. This was a big step for me; I have been trying hard to hold things in place. It now feels like a big release, a big weight lifted. Don't know how long it will last, but so be it. It's good, real good, for now.