Recent Musings:

Call me "Powerful River."

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

In a linguistics class in college, each student had to research the meaning of his or her name, proving that nearly every word in language has meaning behind it. I discovered, in many books and on many websites, that my name is Welsh and means "grand." Good enough.
However, recently, I found a site online that listed my name with the meaning of "powerful river." I was struck by its strength and excited at the prospect of my new meaning. I joked that I would start introducing myself as "powerful river" instead of Rhonda, much like Kevin Costner became "dances with wolves." I haven't done it yet, but the possibility is there.

Yet I'm having a difficult time connecting to my new meaning. "Grand" seemed vague and large enough that it could cover a lot of aspects of me, or so I thought, but "powerful river" is much more descriptive and focused, almost a bit too pointed toward one thing - a river, water, which is powerful, strong.

I've tried to relate this meaning with a chapter I've read in "Women Who Run With the Wolves," in which she states that rivers promote life and growth, rivers continue to flow whether healthy or polluted, rivers have a strength and force that can move and shape and cut through nearly any material, like rock. I've tried to find myself in that and haven't been able to. I'm inspired by it, think it's great that these principles are associated with me, but I don't feel like a powerful river. I'm disappointed.

I guess the closest I am for now is that I have the force of the river behind me; perhaps I am not powerful at this moment, but I have the potential to be. I have the capability for flow and life and strength and change, regardless of whether I am a small creek or a mighty Mississippi. If the powerful river is within me or even behind me, pushing me along, I need not be stagnant or sedentary or deterred by something in my path. I can merely keep flowing forward, if even a drop or cup-full at a time, and I will be true to myself, true to my meaning.

I like this connection; it stirs up my soul at the prospect of power. My disappointment has shifted to hope.