Recent Musings:
The voice of your inside.
Friday, December 2, 2005
There's a Tori Amos song that haunts me in which she sings that her voice has been here, silent, all these years.
It's hard to find the voice of your true self and even harder to express it freely. It's a beautiful thing, then, to find people to whom you can express the voice of your soul. It's an even more important thing to make sure you keep these people in your life, the people that allow you to be the genuine, raw and unpretending you.
But you know, these people, that let you "be" in the fullest sense, change. They fluctuate, they deteriorate, they move past or behind you and when they do, you need to find new or different people, people who can always support and nurture you in your fullest, to give those who aren't in their fullest some opportunity to regenerate themselves. It's not necessarily the flaw or fault of the people, it's just kind of how the cycle of being alive works. If we look to nature, as has been suggested to me, we see that life does indeed move in seasons - with a time of blooming, a time of full growth, a time of retraction and then a time of dormancy. People move through these same seasons.
For me, it's an eye-opening reality because I forget how much support of friends I need and I forget that when I know people believe in me, I believe in myself even more. But I forget, too, that people can't always be 100% and can't always take the time to support me in my life. And if I am in a place where I can't support them, then they need to move beyond me to the support they need.
Ultimately, as I remember how great friends' support can feel, it's my responsibility to recruit those positive people and let them rally around me for a while, to get me back to my fullest self, so I can return the favor to others when they are in need of that support.