Recent Musings:
Do I settle?
Thursday, January 26, 2006
I read an article on relationships the other day in which the author briefly mentioned settling. She defined it as something a person does when they don't believe they can get what they want; in other words, it's a failed belief system on the part of the person who believes they've settled. In a relationship aspect, this would mean you settle for your current significant other because YOU don't believe that YOU can find someone with all the qualities or characteristics you actually want. Am I explaining this clearly? Settling is only done when you believe you have settled.
I like this definition and believe it can be applied to all of life's decisions. Any time I allow myself to accept less than I what I want, I've settled. This doesn't mean one can't compromise, willingly accepting less or different than what was originally wanted, but if a person limits their decision based on the belief that their actual want is unattainable, then a person settles.
So, do I settle? Have I settled? Have I attained all my wants in life? Yes and no; I've done both. Yet mostly as I thought about my past decisions, I have usually clung to the belief that I will get what I want and I have. It wasn't so much of a tenacious quality, it was more of a hope and a desire and a belief.
One of my favorite Bible verses is nearly a definition: "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" (Heb. 11:1, NIV). Perhaps my belief of not settling and of holding on to get what I truly want is a faith rewarded by God and the universe, that when I believe in better things for myself, God grants that desire.
Anyway, I smiled after pondering the author's definition because I could say with confidence that I had not settled on my biggest decisions in life thus far. Why? Because I do not believe that I have settled and I am the one who gets to decide.