Recent Musings:

Sensitivity.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

I was told the other day that I'm too sensitive and I need to toughen up. I disagreed by saying that I'd rather be too sensitive and not offend than hurt people's feelings. (I thought later that I should've told the person to grow a heart.)

Regrettably, I do agree with this person. I am too sensitive; in fact, I'm hypersensitive. I take nearly everything a person says to me or about me very much to heart.

I even found a report card once from the fourth grade in which the teacher left a note telling my parents that I responded too sensitively in the classroom. Besides being horrified that a teacher would tell an eleven year old girl she's too sensitive, I was mad now, 20 years later, that sensitivity is a behavior that needs to be reported as a problem.

The point? I've been sensitive my whole life.

However, I've started to believe God that intended for me to be this way. I do think I need to learn to keep my emotions in check and I do need to learn to detach myself from accusations and harsh words, but I believe this is how God intended for Rhonda, as one particular woman, to filter and impact and make a difference in the world. Why else would He have made me so?

I must admit, I don't see how being sensitive is a such a bad thing. Who wants to be calloused and desensitized? Who wants to meet a broken person on the street and not feel any compassion for them?

Now, as I hope to pursue a career in social work, sensitivity is what is necessary for being able to understand another person's pain. I believe God intended my sensitivity to be something that moves me forward in life, not something that needs to be reported or changed or thickened.

Therefore, I think God made me just right and plans on using me just as I am, utitlizing my hypersensitivity as a strength, not a weakness.