Recent Musings:
A shade of gray.
Thursday, July 6, 2006
Boundaries are not so easily defined. Personal, relational, work and familial boundaries can be tricky to pick out, to maintain.
I work with my family. I have a hard time knowing where I fit and which allegiance to maintain. I have a hard time knowing what is and is not my responsibility. Some people here have the mentality that if you are a family member, you trump everyone else. I don't like that outlook, perhaps because I don't want that much responsibility. Perhaps the others are throwing the responsibilites on the family members to dodge their own work responsibilities. Who knows?
Relationally, people change within different environments, myself included. It's hard to know how to relate with an old someone within a new environment. Even though it's a person you know well, a new situation changes both you and the other in their situational responses. It's hard to know what to be sometimes.
I'll admit, I'm presently feeling lost, self-concious and insecure. I don't know what and who I am enough to carry myself consistently through each situation. That bums me out. I find myself relying on those I'm with to remind me of which person I'm supposed to be when. Bleh - I'm not liking myself so much right now.