Recent Musings:
Wait - whose life is it, anyway?
Hey - there's an elephant in the room!
It's happening...
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I really don't know how I'm feeling right now. I've been a wreck and I think I've cried at least every day for the last 10 days. Yet I'm hopeful, excited and anxious for the future! Everything and anything seems like a lot to process.
Today is my last day of work and this is weird because I've worked on-and-off at this job for most of my life - it's a family business. It's been a blessing and a curse, meaning, I've been grateful for the job but took it for granted at the same time. It was always available to me when I needed it and although I've walked away many times, I usually came back in the in-between times. My sadness comes in in that I don't know if I'll be back here again. Yes, I really hope I won't be back, in that this job has nothing to do with my future degree, and yet I love the people here because they are family or are like family to me. I've grown up with them and they've been there through every phase of my life. I know today is not a forever goodbye, but it's still a goodbye laden with some melancholy.
Of course, now that my logic is surfacing, I realize that if it is the people here that I love, I don't need to continue working here to have meaningful interactions with these people. I can continue to love and cherish them without working alongside them, all the while following a future that suits me and my passions in life.
Anyway, this is about how every memory is striking me these days. All my past memories seem to be lingering within me, in an attempt to not be forgotten as I move on to a new chapter of my life. I'm reliving these memories one last time, with all the nostalgia of the past happinesses, joys, pains or rejections. It's almost like watching myself in a movie.
Ah well, more memories need to be made! On I go.