Recent Musings:
Bye-bye April.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Wow, last day of April, the year is just flying by. And seeing I'm on break, this is 4th morning in a row I didn't wake up to an alarm and instead woke up when my body was ready. That's nice - I didn't realize how much of a luxury that was until I didn't have it for months and months. I must have really needed sleep too because I'm averaging about 9-12 hours of sleep a night. Who says sleep deprivation doesn't catch up with you? Shoot - I wasn't even that sleep deprived, compared to others.
Why am I rambling? Well, my brain has taken a serious break and I haven't done too much thinking, but it seems my emotions are also catching up with me. All the feelings, worries, angers that I had pushed down in order to deal with school are suddenly creeping up and coming out all over the place. I've been emotionally exhausted all weekend - another reason why I'm sleeping so much. I like to think I'm "in touch" with myself and what I'm feeling but I don't know that I am so much, especially when it comes to doubts and fears and uncertainties. I attempt to hide those and fool myself into thinking I'm not feeling anything at all - if that makes sense.
Regardless, I do have a busy day today. Grad school really is quite involved, even when you're finished for the semester. Perhaps it's a reality test for what life is really like - crazy busy all the time and always expecting more than I'm ready to give.