Recent Musings:
Strange sensation.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
So I've been married about 10 days. I'm a fairly independent girl and usually prefer being alone to being with people (highly introverted). However, upon deciding to walk to campus yesterday, I got a bit nervous at the prospect of going alone. My honey was in the middle of work and didn't want to leave and I said, "Well, I'm a little nervous. We haven't been apart from each other since we got married. (Jokingly) Will you still be here when I get back?!"
Mostly the emotion I'm struggling with is this - am I allowed to do this? I've slipped so easily and so unintentionally into this "couple" mindset where every act done throughout the day is done in joint with my husband that I've lost my previous reality of going it alone. It was a strange sensation to feel.
We joked about it and of course I went on my walk alone. It didn't feel wrong or freeing or unfamiliar - it was just a walk. And yet I've learned how already, so quickly, I could lose my identity and my independence by melding into an identity that places me only alongside my husband, discarding the identity I've reached by learning to stand and act as my own person.