Recent Musings:
Some 'end of year and beginning of a new' thoughts.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Hard to believe this year is on its way to its end. It's been a full and busy year with lots of growing pains, happy memories and life-realizations.
I'm having a hard time finding words to match my mood; I feel that my emotions are ebbing and swelling and yet I lack the words to dictate the experience. I just expressed to my husband that I need a change of scenery and that could very well be true; I follow the same schedule in the same buildings with the same people every day and because of my pressured responsiblities I rarely change this routine. I'm getting a bit restless.
My third semester of graduate school ends in two weeks. I've made a valiant push and yet this semester I don't think I've taken things as seriously as in the past. I don't think this is bad, just an observation.
In counseling we learn to pay attention to the words people use to describe themselves, their situations or their identities and we try to match their words in order to meet them where they are. I've been counseling people this semester quite regularly and intensely and last night heard myself referring to myself as a therapist. I think I'm nearing the end of my gestation period; I believe I've donned an identity. Granted, I think I prefer the word counselor to therapist, simply because counselor is used in the Bible in reference to Christ. Perhaps I need to earn a deeper level of healing and understanding before I can wear that title as my own.
As a preemptive thought, I dread the transition from student to working gal. I already imagine a serious bout of guilt-laden inactivity, after having run a strong race for these 2 years. I've already warned my husband that this may cause some backlash in our new marriage; we've adjusted to our current life and its schedules, but this process will have to happen again soon. Perhaps I shall prepare myself for this jolt.
I have no summary words and thus I stop.